{May 2012} After lots of studying and testing, Beau received a promotion at work and became the Executive Director of an assisted living community in Tucson, AZ. We moved from Gilbert to Tucson.
{September 10, 2012} Our 1st year anniversary!!!
{May 2012} Beau gets a 2009 Yamaha Stratoliner motorcycle (minus the blue - it was chromed out!).
{October 2012} I quit my Optician job in Gilbert (Commuting and staying in Gilbert 3 days a week since May) and started working as a Vision Therapy Assistant in Tucson.
{November 2012} On a trip with the Canadian Boys, Beau totals his motorcycle, but thank goodness, isn't seriously hurt. We purchase him a 2011 Ford Taurus (it's time for a family vehicle...LOL!).
{November 2012} Beau gets the heads up that he's being head hunted in Mesa for an ED position.
{November 2012} After 7 months of TTC (trying to conceive), I opted to see a fertility specialist.
{January 2013} We moved back up to Mesa for Beau's job.
{January 2013} I finally get the chance to find out our fertility testing results.....and I'm crushed. We try 3 rounds of 150mg Clomid...results are all BFN! (Big Fat Negatives!)
{March 2013} I get a job at AZMax! :){April 2013} Champ our little Havanese puppy is born! ---------->
{May 2013} Dr. Amols calls and we chat about IUI (which he pushes) and IVF (which I push for). I'm tired of beating around the bush and don't want to pay out $12,000 for 3 IUI cycles that have a 15%-22% chance of pregnancy. IVF has a 60%-70% chance of pregnancy.
So....that's pretty much everything....in it's most basic form. I would have to say that this second year of marriage has been the hardest yet. With the guilt of my infertility looming over my head, I didn't know where to turn to. I felt like I didn't have a purpose anymore. I was so depressed. Eventually Beau told me to snap out of it and I did. I found that the greatest therapy for me was to talk about it with other women. Crazy thing is, EVERYONE knows someone, or several people, with infertility issues! I had no idea there were so many of us out there. Why isn't this Sh*t covered by insurance??????
We want to buy a house, but we can't take out a $15,000 loan for fertility purposes and expect to buy a house. I just started a job in march...I'm not even through my 90 days yet, so IVF may have to wait a year. At the same time though, my head and my heart are conflicting.....why wait to have children? Isn't that a higher spiritual law? Do I sacrifice my job to start a family? Can we afford to do that? We live in a 1 bedroom apartment....we need more space if we're going to have babies! The time commitment is so great when it comes to the IVF process...I'm just torn.
I've also really struggled spiritually. I haven't been focusing on US and my own spiritual needs...so one day I just hit rock bottom and had a meltdown about how bad of a person/wife I am. After talking about it several times with Beau, we decided we needed to spiritually try harder. Granted, each day I try to be better than the day before....it's one step at a time. :)
Things I look forward to (besides taking my bra off every day after work):
{June/July 2013} Flying Champ home to AZ from NY!
Finding a private financier for our IVF
Figuring out when we'll start IVF
Buying a house and making it a home. :)
Building a stronger marriage and relationship with my husband. <3
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