Though my womb is empty, my heart is not.

I have never felt as though my life was empty because I could not fulfill the one task a woman is given to procreate.  In fact, I have faith that it will happen in the Lord's time and in his own way.  Along that path I am learning how to love openly and whole-heartedly.  It's been a struggle to come to terms with infertility...and I've temporarily lost faith in myself and sight in God's plan for me, but with Beau by my side, there isn't anything we can't get through. :)  The priesthood has also brought peace to my heart through blessings.  Most recently Beau and I received blessings from a family friend, President Raymond.  In our blessings he said that as we plead with Jesus for the gift of children, Jesus will plead with the Father to release those blessings unto us.  He also said that Beau would have the opportunity to teach his children the gospel and PLAY with them.  It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about these words again.  Jesus Christ will plead with the father.....how do I even deserve for him to do this?  He has already done more for me than I would EVER ask. 
On another note, I can't stop thinking that somehow I will lose Beau or he will  lose me.  I'm afraid that he will be left alone, with or without children....or that he'll re-marry and that is how he'll have children in his life.  Maybe it's the adversary trying it's best to keep me from receiving my blessings by being distracted...who knows. 
My heart is full of gratitude for what we have, for this little guy (Champ) in our lives who is teaching us so much!   Beau and I have GREAT jobs which we love and after nearly two years of marriage, we're finally feeling like we've got our feet on the ground.  :)  We've been so blessed with the friends we've made along the way and with his family who is so gracious and loving.  God is great and I love him!!!!